International Women's Day

Today is International Women's Day, and I have a few things I would like to say to my international female friends, especially my Egyptian friends.  Culturally, we are all subject to cultural pressures, but women as a whole experience these pressures to a higher degree, and I know Egyptian society can be strict.  Between age-old family traditions, your immediate peers, and modern media, we have a lot to deal with and a lot of people telling us what to do with our bodies.  Many of my Egyptian friends are reaching that age when people start to pair off and get engaged.  So many young Egyptian women are trying balance social and cultural pressures.  I just want to tell you, your body is no one's business but your own.  More specifically, it is no one's business if you're a virgin or not.  I am not promoting promiscuity or abstinence.   I can't tell you if having sex before your marriage is better or worse for your relationship, or what is right in your religion.  That is up to you.  You need to make the choice that is right for you, and you can't do that if you're worried about how others will judge you.   You should not have sex because someone is pressuring you, and you should not not have sex because someone is pressuring you. I know how much pressure you're under, and I know that not being a virgin can have serious consequences, so as your concerned friend, I give you permission to lie.  This choice is yours, and if you need to protect that choice by lying, I support you.  Here are some things you might like to consider:

Not everyone bleeds their first time.  The hymen doesn't cover the opening of the vagina.  It's not something you have to "break" to have sex.  It is more like a stretchy ring of skin around the vaginal opening.  Hymens sometimes bleed the first time, because they are tighter/tougher.  But some people's hymens' are naturally stretchy or just out of the way.  Sex can loosen or tear a tighter hymen, but everyday life, and friction from clothes, menstruation, or just biology can wear away a hymen as well.  And sometimes a hymen doesn't stay loose, and if you have sex, and then wait a long time till you have sex again, you might bleed again.  In other words, "bleeding" doesn't prove your virginity.

There is no medical definition of virginity.  It's all just culture.  It changes through history.  There is no real test to prove your virginity.  Many modern women define their virginity differently.  There are many types of sexual activity.  Some people count all experiences as "sex," some believe they can do everything but penis-to-vagina sex and still be virgins, and some still consider themselves virgins until they have sex with someone they really care about.  It's up to you.

Men aren't forced to prove their virginity.  They aren't subject to the same pressures as we are.  It's just not fair.  They can do scandalous things just as easily (if not easier) as we can.

No body has to live in your body, but you. duh.

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